Halloween, one of my most favorite holidays of the entire year is coming. All the signs are there, the cooler weather at night, the shorter days, the leaves already changing and falling to the ground. It won't be long and we'll be spooking baby, yes!! :o)
I have always loved Halloween, since as far back as I can remember. It hasn't changed much over the years except that not I have a bank account and can buy cool Halloween gear. *grins wickedly* The boys tentatively know what they want to be this year, James wants to be Freddy Krueger and Christopher wants to be The Wolfman. Yay!!
We are trying to figure out what the invites for our annual Hinkle Halloween party will be this year, I saw some really cool things while I was out the other day that gave me ideas, but we'll see.
Happy Spooking Everyone!!!
Sunday, August 29, 2010
Friday, August 27, 2010
When looking on the bright side bites the big one.
Life with a chronic disease sucks, some days worse than others, but you deal in whatever ways you can. Some people confide in others and lean on them for support, others keep it all locked inside until it eventually bursts forth, and still others are in denial. Different folks, different coping mechanisms. And then there comes that point, you know which one I am talking about, the point when your coping mechanisms aren't enough and you have a break down moment.
That is what happened to me tonight, the tired overwhelmed the "look on the bright side" part of my attitude and it all went to hell in a handbasket pretty fast from then on. I don't break down often, at least not in front of my kids, and I am trying to be as strong as I can for my husband Shayne also. Because I love them and I hate to see them in pain or worried about me, because I don't want my kids scarred anymore than they already are by all of this, and honestly because if you think having a disease is hard you ought to see what it does to the people that love you. It is one hell of a lot easier to be sick, hands down. Easier because the control is taken out of your hands, the disease is part of you and you cope because you know it is in your DNA. Cope or go crazy, and take everyone around you down for the spiral as well.
I popped a hernia tonight, my stomach wall tore when I was getting up off the floor where I was seated. I am still so angry, and being mad at yourself is an interesting way to live. Your rational mind says it isn't your fault while the argumentative side says, hellllooooo dumb ass, you're the sick one. I cried, more out of frustration and rage than anything else, that and because I am so tired of doing this. Shayne is starting back to school, Christopher has football right now, home school is back in, and I am popping hernias that will require surgery and with my slow healing will require who knows how much healing time. Bleh...
And just when you gripe on facebook about how your life sucks, along comes a good friend with the same disease you have and she drops a bombshell: Crohn's disease is taking her sight away and in a very short time she won't ever be able to see her children again. And suddenly, your day doesn't suck as much as you thought and at the same time it sucks more. How could life be so cruel? When, if ever, will they cure this damned disease so that not one single person has to suffer another minute with it?
And when someone comes to you, angry (hello, yeah) and hurt, and so confused about why the universe or a deity is allowing this to happen...what do you say? Do you tell them they are strong? My friend has a good point, she said that she knew she was strong because of all the crap she had survived with this disease so far....but strength has no place here. She doesn't need to be reminded she is strong and how do you possibly say: it will be okay? Not being able to see is not okay, never being able to visualize your daughters wedding, or your son's graduation is well on over past okay.
So on days like this, when someone says look on the bright side....I can honestly say the bright side bites the big one.
I love you Ashley, girl, I am praying for you.
<3
Help us find a cure for this damn disease, http://www.ccfa.org/
That is what happened to me tonight, the tired overwhelmed the "look on the bright side" part of my attitude and it all went to hell in a handbasket pretty fast from then on. I don't break down often, at least not in front of my kids, and I am trying to be as strong as I can for my husband Shayne also. Because I love them and I hate to see them in pain or worried about me, because I don't want my kids scarred anymore than they already are by all of this, and honestly because if you think having a disease is hard you ought to see what it does to the people that love you. It is one hell of a lot easier to be sick, hands down. Easier because the control is taken out of your hands, the disease is part of you and you cope because you know it is in your DNA. Cope or go crazy, and take everyone around you down for the spiral as well.
I popped a hernia tonight, my stomach wall tore when I was getting up off the floor where I was seated. I am still so angry, and being mad at yourself is an interesting way to live. Your rational mind says it isn't your fault while the argumentative side says, hellllooooo dumb ass, you're the sick one. I cried, more out of frustration and rage than anything else, that and because I am so tired of doing this. Shayne is starting back to school, Christopher has football right now, home school is back in, and I am popping hernias that will require surgery and with my slow healing will require who knows how much healing time. Bleh...
And just when you gripe on facebook about how your life sucks, along comes a good friend with the same disease you have and she drops a bombshell: Crohn's disease is taking her sight away and in a very short time she won't ever be able to see her children again. And suddenly, your day doesn't suck as much as you thought and at the same time it sucks more. How could life be so cruel? When, if ever, will they cure this damned disease so that not one single person has to suffer another minute with it?
And when someone comes to you, angry (hello, yeah) and hurt, and so confused about why the universe or a deity is allowing this to happen...what do you say? Do you tell them they are strong? My friend has a good point, she said that she knew she was strong because of all the crap she had survived with this disease so far....but strength has no place here. She doesn't need to be reminded she is strong and how do you possibly say: it will be okay? Not being able to see is not okay, never being able to visualize your daughters wedding, or your son's graduation is well on over past okay.
So on days like this, when someone says look on the bright side....I can honestly say the bright side bites the big one.
I love you Ashley, girl, I am praying for you.
<3
Help us find a cure for this damn disease, http://www.ccfa.org/
Monday, August 16, 2010
My first post :)
Hello All,
So this would be my first blog, I will do my best to say something interesting. :) My name is Linda Hinkle and I live in Knoxville, TN as of this moment. I am wife to a loving husband and mother to two beautiful boys ages ten and twelve. I love my life. Don't get me wrong things aren't perfect, but I wouldn't change my life. Regardless of anything, I am happy.
For now I will keep this short and simple. But expect more later. :)
Have a wonderful evening,
Linda H.
So this would be my first blog, I will do my best to say something interesting. :) My name is Linda Hinkle and I live in Knoxville, TN as of this moment. I am wife to a loving husband and mother to two beautiful boys ages ten and twelve. I love my life. Don't get me wrong things aren't perfect, but I wouldn't change my life. Regardless of anything, I am happy.
For now I will keep this short and simple. But expect more later. :)
Have a wonderful evening,
Linda H.
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